i decided to start back on my blogging. i need to let out a few things or so somewhere and somehow, and so i remembered this "dusty" blog of mine.
to start off, things have been pretty crazy these few months. oh did i tell you, im back in school? yeah. im back to books now. decided that i got to make something out of myself and also to show alot of people that im a learned person and not to take my physical appearence for granted. i want to work hard to pay off "debts" of my hardworking parents that has brought me up through so much pain. oh yeahh, i owe them wayy too much. its time that i become responsible, but first, i need to get my diploma first. i have plans. and yes, definitely, im so afraid if these plans might go wrong somewhere. but i will try. (:
i have been at the skinniest stage of my life, i think, EVER? my appetite has been seriously poor. just yesterday, it was amazing how i could live without food for like a day! i mean, its like fasting, but with additional 3 hours after breaking fast. and, i only ate 2 apples throughout the whole day yesterday. i was hungry, but i wasnt like famished. weird.
and just this morning, i though, "hey dont starve yourself just because ur depressed. go and eat something." so, at Geylang with daddy, i was spoilt for choice on what to eat. and when i finally decided what i wanted, and its time to dig in, not even half way through, im like, "ohkay, im done."
im not usually like this though. despite whatever shit happens, i would gorged myself with food! to ease the pain. but now...ever since that stomach flu incident i had the other day, i think im becoming bones. literally, becoming lindsay lohan. ew. gross.
but ah, i just wanna be myself. and im trying SO DAMN hard not to be negative to my own body. i will try to eat. at least, start with vegetables and fruits. hehe, well IF i could get this lazy ass off the couch.
mood, hasnt been too good lately. i just wanna cuddle my bed, and just sleep or watch tv the whole day. like why are break ups so damn hard? pfft. yeah ive said it. break up.
i dont wanna talk about it..
well, chingay's just this weekend. and im participating. (laugh all you want)
oh, fred's back! but gonna return back to brunei next week. *boohoo*, have a safe trip bro. and many thanks for tuesday!
well, thats it. i better end this post before i come crying again. oh this song,
is just awesome. it gets me to sleep. and to calm myself, and get emo every night. it works wonders if u wanna cry yourself out u know. recommended! especially for someone who's not a fan of Malay songs, this is pretty good. :)
have better days people, than i have been having. bye!